Shame on You…

My friend posted the below (S) in the LDS mid singles group on facebook (yes, I am single now and ‘mid’ aged) and I messaged her telling her how LUCKY I was to have been in a marriage and had a man that exemplified all of the things below.  She said: WE in the singles and divorced group need to hear such things. It will keep our minds directed in the paths we need to go.
So I told her I would come up with a reply.  I’ve pasted it below under her original post.
 
S:
“The counsel from the Apostle Paul is most beautiful and to the point. He said simply, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25).
“In latter-day revelation the Lord speaks again of this obligation. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). To my knowledge there is only one other thing in all scripture that we are commanded to love with all our hearts, and that is God Himself. Think what that means!”
“This kind of love can be shown for your wives in so many ways. First and foremost, nothing except God Himself takes priority over your wife in your life—not work, not recreation, not hobbies. Your wife is your precious, eternal helpmate—your companion.”
“What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion. Surely when you love your wife with all your heart, you cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her, or abuse her by words, sullen behavior, or actions.”
“What does it mean to “cleave unto her”? It means to stay close to her, to be loyal and faithful to her, to communicate with her, and to express your love for her”.22
“Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated.”
Teachings of the Presidents of the Church. Ezra Taft Benson
.
Noelle C Campbell: My late husband, Sam, was a wonderful example of the above and he did it as much as a non member (he was not a member when we married) as he did as a priesthood holder (We were sealed in Houston, Temple). I think, in part, he worked hard at being a good husband and father (he was a step dad to my children) because he felt this was his chance, his opportunity to prove that he COULD do it DESPITE his disabilities. Sam was deaf and legally blind. ( read this: https://withclosedcaptions.wordpress.com/…/an-hour-in…/ to get an idea of what he would go through in a ‘normal’ day). He had to try really really hard to do anything you and I would consider routine, and he did that, and more for me. I saw all of this. I saw all of the struggles he went through and I knew it.was.for.me. It made me want to be better. A better wife, a better mom, a better woman. I think I did become a better person. Sam always thought I was better than he was, his past was tainted, he said, but I never could agree. His actions spoke so loudly. He worked SO hard. I know that if a deaf blind man can work that hard just for one woman (and though he said I could be the Angelina Jolie of the deafblind world, I know I am just your average pretty, middle aged woman) and his two step children, that much more is expected and indeed required of a fully able man. This is not saying that the ONUS is on you, but really, you should be ashamed of yourself if you can’t do better than a deafblind man…

*********

And then I cried.

God I love that man.  I talk about him all the time.  Still working slowly on that biography/autobiography.  Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere how much I miss him, like today and everything feels fresh.  Like it just happened yesterday…

The Story of Sam

Over a year ago, Samuel Campbell III, a deafblind man who had touched many lives for the good, passed away due to complications from an unnecessary surgery.  His widow believes that the medical professionals who operated on him did so without need, or a clear understanding of what illness / problem had brought Sam into the hospital in the first place and that Sam’s disabilities , the hospitals failure to communicate clearly with Sam and his family, are all grounds for a malpractice lawsuit.  Such a lawsuit can not be undertaken without probate being completed.  The probate was begun a few weeks after Sam’s death and has taken far too long due to complications  with money and family issues.  There is a 2 year window for a wrongful death suit, and that window is starting to approach.  In order for the lawsuit to proceed, the probate must get finished.  The probate is being held up due to Sam’s widow’s lack of funds.  Things for Sam’s family are tight and all the assets are now tied up in probate.  Sam’s step children were not able to qualify for survivors benefits and his widow has been struggling financially since Sam’s death.  If you feel moved to aid the legal procedings, please donate what you can. Send funds via PayPal to swampfaye@yahoo.com or go to the gofundme page: http://www.gofundme.com/u5vfx7q

Please help if you can. Donate, email, twitter and, or Facebook the link.

The Stories that Brought The Hobbit To Me

My book has been published.  It is available on ebook in Kindle/Nook and also hard copy.  I truly believe that Sam had a hand in this being published and thought if I believed that, I should be offering it on our blog. If you would like a signed copy, send a payment of 12.50 to my paypal address (swampfaye at yahoo dot com) with a note that it is for “Martian Goods”.  If you’d like it personalized, just let me know.  I have a limited amount of copies at the moment, so order yours first!

10704269_10154833485600072_3156196844905254376_oMy handsome son, and the Hobbit’s favorite boy, holding a copy of my book.

lights

Lights were a big theme in my marriage to Sam. Yesterday I took the lights in our room down. It made me emotional and moody the entire day. I tried to explain why to a friend, but Sam said it better:

MagicDoor

Is this not a reason for tears if I shed them? Whether for joy, grief or just pure emotion, the tears are there because the memory is beautiful.

Friends and friendship

I have been repeatedly blessed by friends and friendships,and kudos to the internet for helping me make most of them, actually. Through friendships I have traveled to Ireland, paid for a messy divorce, met a spouse, learned ASL, paid for an unexpected funeral/death, been supported through widowhood, will have a book published and many many MANY more things. I hope I have been a good friend in return. I hope I have paid it forward and backward. I want, more than anything, to be a blessing to my friends.

I feel like I’m starting to come out of the fog of my hobbit’s death.  I know it doesn’t make me miss him less, or love him less, but it does let me feel a little more like myself–and I need that.  I haven’t been able to write for a while now, but I am starting to get back into things that I had set aside because I simply wasn’t myself.

Martian Goods – excerpt in ASL

Noelle Campbell:

Thanks to the efforts of my friends, we bring you an excerpt of the story “Martian Goods” (by me) in ASL!! Don’t forget to donate to the kickstarter campaign – follow the link for the video!

Originally posted on Noelle Campbell:

Lots of you guys know I was married to a deaf man, and so have done a lot of things and gathered many experiences form within the deaf community.  Some of my characters are inspired by the deaf people I know (and even some of the dreaded CODAs ;P ).  This excerpt below has been interpreted very excellently by Robert Gardner, one of the young men who served a mission to the Fallbrook Deaf Branch and did much service for my husband and I.

 

Please support the kickstarter project and get the rest of the story with a donation: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/skyrocket/martian-goods-and-other-stories/backers

Here is a link to Robert’s Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQgGSmqwKqiZJfXiek86ZHA

View original

I promise…

I found a copy of Sam’s vows to me when I was going through my manuscripts for Mars.  I don’t believe it was a coincidence.  I believe his hand was in that.  Here are his vows:

I, Sam, want you, Noelle
To be my wife,
To have and to hold
From this day forward;
For better or for worse,
For richer or for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
Never to part.

I promise to be faithful to you,
To be with you through the good and bad,
To support you in any way I can,
To live for you or die for you.

Finally, I promise to remember
That God brought us together,
And that I am accountable to Him
To be the best husband and father I can be.

In return, I edited the dedication page for my book to be published soon (see the video for it at: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/skyrocket/martian-goods-and-other-stories )

For Sam

 

You promised to live and die for me,

and here is my vow to you:

I promise that while I live, you will live on

in stories, in tales, as:

Sir Random Loud Noise

aka slyfoot

My hobbit

Patriarch of Calinor

and every hero I create or tell of.

 

You will always be the best man I have ever known.

I love you.

6th Anniversary

Today is my (and my Hobbit’s) 6th anniversary.  I am wearing the blouse that I wore when we met.

Ironically, today is the day this particular kickstarter project was launched:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/skyrocket/martian-goods-and-other-stories

That’s my book. Support it if you would, get a free book and make my Hobbit happy.  These stories were how he got interested in me (which you may know if you’ve read his guest posts). 

Happy Anniversary, sweetie.